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Pain is inevitable

April 21, 2011

Pain is a great motivator for writing.
It's amazing how much emotion can come out in our darkest moments.
The unthinkable and unimaginable is approached and in the end a new realization comes to light.
It's about getting up after you've been knocked down.
It's about finding the strength to pick yourself up through all the rubble that came crashing down on you and prove that you are strong.
It's not about proving it to the person that knocked you down. It's not even about proving it to those around you; it is about proving it to yourself.
The pain is in everyone's life.
There isn't a single person on this Earth that hasn't had to deal with hard times and there will never be a person that doesn't have to deal with hard times.
However, there are those that will choose to let those hard times defeat and define them and others will choose to define the situation and themselves.
The human spirit is only as strong as the person chooses to let it be.
We all make the choice, everyday; even when things are going well to have a strong spirit.
We choose to enjoy the good times, not worry about the bad times and look forward with hope to more good times to come.
The spirit, the drive and the courage that we have is there with us everyday.
It's when it comes to having the rug ripped out from under us and our hearts being shattered that it's really easy to forget the strength that lies within us.
It is easy in the moments of weakness to stop living and forget the good that surrounds us.
It's easier to lay down and admit defeat than it is to get up, go on and make that courage show through.
Losing someone you love is a heart-wrenching thing. It's a pain that can knock the strongest person down to their knees and hold them there. It's a pain that gets down deep within your soul and tugs at the bottom of everything you are.
I've experienced loss through death and I've experienced loss through leaving. Both are painful, neither one is describable and both are unfair.
I'm not here to argue which pain is worse and which one is less important because it's an argument that would never be won; both are heartbreaking, knock you to your knees kind of pain.
In both cases there are no magic words, nothing to magiclly make the pain disappear. Friends can offer support, family can have your back, but at the end of the day you could be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.
Loss is not easy.
It's in the moments of loss that you need to cry, scream, yell and do everything you can to push out every emotion that is locked within.
You have to deal with the situation otherwise you will continue to let it hang over you and define your life.
It's important to do whatever it is that serves as your release because it's when we don't release our pain that our pain has the power to consume us.
It is all too common to hear of lives being taken because of heartache and pain. It's far too common for people to stop living simply because they don't understand, know how or believe they have the right to deal with their pain. Everyone deserves to grieve in any loss. No loss is too small.
It seems that during the pain there are numerous words of wisdom that come to the surface, sometimes its through friends, sometimes its by our own thoughts and sometimes it's just God's way of telling us what we need to hear.
Some inspiring words of wisdom that I received recently is that God is in control and He knows exactly why we go through what we go through. He never promised a heart full of singing, He only promised to carry us and take care of us.
There is no contract that says we will forever be happy or that there will never be bumps in the road. There is nothing that states our lives will be easy, but there is the promise that life will be worth it.
There are times the pain gets so intense that it's really easy to shut down and question why.
It's really easy to see no worth in yourself or anything around you, but it is in those moments that we need to look deeper and find the worth.
We have to be able to find the belief in ourselves and realize that we are worth it.
Every person deserves to experience real love. We are all worth finding that person that believes in us no matter what.
The one person that will stand by our sides through the thickest of thick and come out to experience the good. We all deserve to be trusted and live a life of joy.
Despite all the positive thoughts that can be thought, all the advice that friends can offer, it’s important to remember you are the only one who can decide how much strength you have.
It’s not going to be easy. It will continue to hurt, especially if the connection ran deep. The pain will not dissappear over night and it will not be forgotten.
There will be days, years after the hurt has healed, something will remind you of what once was.
As painful as it may be, as much as your heart may break, try your hardest and embrace those moments.
For some reason those moments touched you enough to leave a mark. They existed long enough to make you experience something you never would have experienced otherwise.

Contact Staff Writer Amanda Moreno at 263-7331 ext. 234 or by e-mail at life@bigspringherald.com.

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