Booker T. Washington was best known as one of the most influential black men of his time. His childhood was one of privation, poverty and back-breaking work. From birth he became the property of James Burroughs of Virginia and was put to work as early as possible. Since it was illegal for a slave to learn to read and write, he never received an education, yet he overcame near-impossible odds and died at age 59.

In his autobiography, “Up From Slavery,” he wrote, “It is best to concentrate on improving our character than economic skills.” He said, “Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.” And that he did.

In our society today, excellence is a word rarely used. We don’t see it in our schools or our government. Employers do not require it from their employees and it’s rarely impressed upon the mind of the child in the family unit. Therefore, most of our children do not understand there is such a thing as excellence in life, nor do they realize that “being average” can lead them into a common life of mediocrity.

I once heard a minister say this: “Consider the postage stamp. Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to something until it gets there.” How passionately our society needs to embrace this truth and impress it upon the young minds of our children today.

Excellence in life does not imply that our children live in a straight jacket or that perfection is a dirty word. As parents, it’s a moral obligation we owe to our children to train them to reach for the higher way. Our children can travel on the higher way, or they can travel on the by way. What we teach, train, and guide them toward is what they achieve in life.  

Dear Jerrie,

I’m a 42-year-old mom. Since reading your column, I realize that my husband and I have not talked to our children about good manners. Our sons are 15 and 13, and they do pretty good when company is around or when we eat out. But at home they are rude to each other and have poor table manners. The 15-year-old thinks all this good manners stuff is sissy. Please advise.

Jackie

Hello Jackie,

Your sons are rude to each other and have poor table manners at home, because that’s what they learned to do from early in life. If you and your husband had modeled good manners before them when they were small, it’s unlikely they would not be well-mannered today.

Why don’t the two of you talk to your sons? Explain that you failed to teach them early on, but it’s valuable to them now to understand that proper table ettiquette and basic good manners is not sissy, but will mark them for better jobs and advancement in their careers. They should know that all powerful and strong men including presidents of the United States have proper table manners. Hopefully, this will change their minds.

Hi Jerrie,

I was home from college during the holidays, and found your column in the Big Spring Herald. It’s traffic. How, do I handle a situation with my best friend, who has made a lifestyle for herself of always been late?  We attend college together, but are not roommates. She does not have a car, but I do. I pick her up for class two days a week. Her constant tardiness causes me to be late to class. I have talked to her numerous times. She will always apologize, but never changes.

Is there a solution ?

Kim   

Hello Kim,

The cardinal rule of etiquette is promptness. When others are consistently late, it tells me they have no respect for themselves, or the other person. Talk to your friend again. Explain that you are doing her a favor by picking her up for class. The best way she can show her appreciation is by being on time. Let her know that her tardiness shows up on your class record as well as it does hers. If she continues being late, then the decision is up to you.