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Is there such a thing as second hand obesity? |
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By Emily Jones 
I had a dream last night that my neighborhood Jiggly Wiggly grocery store had installed an industrial-sized scale at the front door. No entry was permitted unless shoppers climbed aboard to register their weight and height in huge eight-inch numerals for the world to see.
If customers fell within normal ranges, the door would swing open. If their weight was on the high side, they were tagged for fruits and vegetables only. But, horror of horrors - if they registered “obese,” they would be sent away empty handed to resort to bribing some skinny person to do their shopping, I guess. No more wearing my cowboy boots to the store – they weigh at least 12 pounds and could push me into the danger zone. Ridiculous, you say? Not so fast. You’ve probably heard that a sadly misguided Mississippi State legislator has introduced a measure banning seriously overweight people from eating in restaurants. Could grocery stores and minute marts be far behind? The far ranging implications of such a measure proposed by the legislator are frightening. Remember, we once thought banning a cigarette anywhere would cause mass hysteria. Now the only time I see someone smoking is out back by the garbage cans, huddled pitifully under an umbrella in a pouring rain. I wonder if there is such a thing as second hand obesity. And, think who’s next to be black-listed:
* Credit card companies could limit women with high balances from purchasing any more shoes; * Automobile dealerships could prohibit anyone under 21 or over 60 from purchasing vehicles; * Book stores could ban the purchase of delicious mystery novels until you read a classic or two; * Television sets should be programmed to shut down after two hours of operation. Porky Pig would say “Bedea, Bedea, That’s all folks. Now go out and play!” Why not just return to the days of rationing things like sugar, like they did during World War II? I guess world war three will be between us and the purveyors of food. I'm gonna start hoarding sweets today with an eye on peddling them when they are outlawed for all but anexoric teenagers. My nightmare last night was probably prompted by the renewal of my Weight Watchers membership which is an annual post holiday requirement. The weekly weigh-ins cause my heart to palpitate and my palms to sweat, but at least I’m doing it VOLUNTARILY. I wear the thinnest fabric I own and remove all my jewelry before climbing on the scale. Is this where we’re going as a nation? Having said all this, I would consider it a favor if the Bagel Café would ban me from future purchases of their delicious chocolate chip bars I fondly refer to as the “Zipper Zapper.” And Applebee’s Restaurant should be shut down if they ever reintroduce the “Fried Bread Pudding” on their menu. Sometimes we do need protection from ourselves. Emily Jones is a retired journalist and bouncing baby boomer who is testing the waters of retirement. She may be contacted at <
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 19 February 2008 )
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