Consideration is the heart of good manners and a courteous manner is a grace that every young person should learn early in life. Sympathy, sensitivity, and tact make you a desirable and outstanding person. Your support for others can be conveyed through a warm smile, a friendly touch, or any small act of kindness.

This kind of behavior springs straight from the heart, from the desire to put others at ease and make them comfortable, even in awkward or difficult situations.

When we become aware of our own shortcomings, we can more easily understand and forgive the faults of others. Even despite our many differences, every one of us share many of the same human problems with its strength and its weaknesses.

Often, young people are influenced by their friends and peer groups in school. Their standards and ways of looking at life are determined by their companions’ manners of dress, speech and behavior toward others. We see this in the weight they place upon their peers rather than their elders. They have not learned the art and beauty in being their own person. They sell themselves short when they ignore who God created them to be in order to be clones of their friends, yet all the while, their own individuality is crying out to be birthed. We would be well to realize, it is not by our weakness that we attract friends, but by our strength.

Dear Jerrie,
Who is the proper person to host a wedding shower? I grew up in Atlanta, Ga., and was taught it was never appropriate for a family member to host a wedding shower for another family member. Please explain.
Jannie

Hello Jannie,
Usually the shower is hosted by a family friend, often a member of the wedding party. Wedding etiquette rules are that a bridal shower is never to be hosted by the mother, a sister, or close family member. However, most ignore this rule. But it does not change the correct rules of etiquette.

Dear Jerrie,
Is it necessary for the bride to write a thank-you note for each shower gift if she thanks each person at the party? I recently was married and had a large wedding shower. I have not had time to write thank-you notes to all my guest, only about a dozen so far.
Patti

Hi Patti,
Yes, a thank-you note is in order for each person. You should take a weekend and finish each card as soon as possible. This is the right and polite thing to do.

Dear Jerrie,
In many restaurants when the waitperson brings water to the table, it has a slice of lemon in the glass. I have heard that many restaurants do not wash the lemons before they are cut and added to the glass of water. I thought the waiter should ask if you want lemon in the water before bringing it to the table with the lemon.
Thank you,
Lanna

Hello Lanna,
You are correct. The waitperson should ask the customer if they would like lemon in their water. Or they should bring a small bowl with cut lemon on the side. If the waiter does not ask, you can simply request no lemon in you water.

Jerrie Stocks has for a number of years conducted classes on etiquette in public and private schools, colleges, churches and ladies’ groups, as well as providing private tutoring and conducting workshops. E-mail your questions concerning etiquette to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it