My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done when she’d say: If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside; I just finished cleaning.

My mother taught me religion when she said: You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

My mother taught me about time travel saying: If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!  

My mother taught me logic when she said: Because I said so, that’s why.

My mother taught me about my roots shouting: Shut that door behind you; were you born in a barn?

My mother taught me about justice when she said: One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

My mother taught me irony saying: Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis telling me: Shut your mouth and eat your supper.

My mother taught me about contortionism when she said: Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

My mother taught me about stamina saying: You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.

My mother taught me about weather when she said: This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.

My mother taught me about hypocrisy saying: If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!

My mother taught me the circle of life when she said: I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

My mother taught me about behavior modification saying: Stop acting like your father!

My mother taught me about envy: There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.

My mother taught me about anticipation: Just wait until your father gets home.

My mother taught me about receiving: You are going to get it when your dad gets home!

My mother taught me medical science: If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.

My mother taught me humor: When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.

My mother also taught me how to become an adult: If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.

My mother taught me many things, much more than these comical comments. She filled my life with memories but she is more than a memory; she is a living presence. She is always with me. She’s the whisper of the leaves as I walk down the street; she’s the smell of freshly laundered clothes; she’s the cool hand on my brow when I’m not well.

She lives inside my laughter and she’s in every teardrop. She’s the place I came from, my first home; and she’s the map I follow with every step I take. She’s my first love and nothing on earth can separate us. Not time; not space and not even death!

Darrell Ryan is the director of federal programs for Big Spring Independent School District.