The power to gain friends may to some degree depend on your friendliness and happy disposition, but the power to keep them depends on loyalty, genuine caring, acceptance of differences, as well as your good manners and daily courtesies. If these things become a ritual with us, our friendships should continue for a lifetime.

Good manners provides the framework for interaction between people. They are the glue that bonds the friendships. These interactions don’t occur only while we are at home, at work, and restaurants, but also while we are in transit to and from these places. It is just as important to demonstrate kindness and respect to others while driving in the city or on the freeway as when you are at home or in more social situations.

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” This simply means a friend loves in good times and in times of adversity.

Dear Jerrie,

My mother is going through some big problems in her life right now. She has started nagging me for every thing that happens. I am 15 years old and I don’t think she should load me down with such big problems by nagging me. I am trying to be patient, love and respect her, but it has not helped. I read your column every week, and I want to honor her as my mother. How do I practice good manners and listen to her nagging too?

Beth

Hi Beth,

Thank you for your letter of consideration for your mother. I know this must be a difficult time for you, but try to put yourself in your mother’s place. How would you want her to treat you? Use this time to help her get through the problems she is facing. Become her source of strength, and try to ignore the nagging. It’s probably her way of releasing the pressure she is under. Small acts of kindness and consideration on your part will show your good intentions. Take the focus off yourself and focus on helping your mother. In time, your mother’s heart will heal and the sun will shine again. But for now, she needs to know you are there for her.

 Dear Jerrie,

I’m 10 years old and I have to baby sit my 3-year-old brother every day after school. My mom does not get home from work until 6 p.m. I cut out your column on etiquette every week and tack it to my bedroom wall so I can remember to do all the good things you talk about. Since I have to babysit my brother, how do I use good manners in something I don’t like to do?

Hello D.J.,

How do you use good manners in something you don’t like to do? D.J., my dear, good manners don’t just apply when everything is going your way. You extend good manners in the good times and the bad times. In your present situation, you honor and show respect to your mother by obeying her without complaining and by being a good baby sitter for your brother. You see, showing respect, kindness and politeness to others are characteristic of a well-mannered person. However, these courtesies extend to our families as well as to others. In the meantime, honor your mom by being a well-mannered 10-year-old daughter.

Jerrie Stocks has for a number of years conducted classes on etiquette in public and private schools, colleges, churches and ladies’ groups, as well as providing private tutoring and conducting workshops. E-mail your questions concerning etiquette to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it