My husband loves to hunt. We have a “room of death” as Jim Carey would say. All of his prize conquests are grandly hanging on the walls of this room. I choose to not go in there because I’m not exactly for hunting except for eating, not as sport. If however the two are combined then I guess I’m OK. Here is the problem, my husband and two friends went on a very expensive safari. He came back with the head and neck of a giraffe he shot! He mounted it in his den. I had a party last weekend and as many of my guests went through the house socializing they became mortified by the sight of the giraffe. One by one couple began leaving. It was horrible! I did nothing but apologize all evening. What do I do? My husband doesn’t care what our friends think and is proud of his kill. I’m so turned off that I can hardly look at him.
Living with a room of death
Dear Living with a room of death,
I have to ask if you were offended before your friend’s reaction or if you felt the same but didn’t voice your opinion. Communication is so vital and keeping something like this inside makes it much worse. If you hid your feelings and are now trying to deal with them, it may be too late. But if not please don’t let your friends control how you feel. Your husband has a room for which he displays what he wants; even if you think it has gone too far. He doesn’t care what people think because he obviously sees animals in a different way than they do.
What you do really is up to you. Can you shut off, install locks or ask folks not to go into the room during parties? I’m not sure if you are saying you are uncomfortable living in the house with the giraffe, or that because of it you feel differently about your husband. It could be a matter of you being embarrassed by your friends’ reactions. I think your husband is the same guy you cared for prior to going on the safari and making this an issue of character or something else is damaging and can be risky to your relationship.
I suggest at least having a conversation with him and tell him your feelings, from the beginning until now. See what your real thoughts are and make sure you know what you ultimately want from him.
Molly is a writer and business professional with years of experience in finance, business development and management. Her lifelong passion and learning has been focused on the understanding and complexity of relationships as well as effective communication. Originally from Texas she has lived in many cities including St Louis and Portland finally settling in Boston where she raised her family and received her education in Business Administration. She is now living in Texas with her family and is excited to be home. Catch her daily relationship and advice column “Molly Mason- Straight Talk”. To reach Molly email firstname.lastname@example.org  or call her at 781-710-2148.